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lyrics

I laid in the schoolyard with my face in the sand
There were bruises on my neck from an angry bully's hand
But when you came out to meet him, he was running like a deer
And you said, "Your brother's here."
And you'd think I'd be happy you were looking out for me
But how great you were and small I was was all that I could see
And a younger brother's envy bored its way into my heart
And it was just a start

And the old man always thought that you were the one
In our father's eyes, you were an only son
I lived in fear, but you took it like a man when the discipline hand came down

There's a hole in my heart, and it won't close up
I'd love you if I didn't hate you so much
Oh brother of mine I'm living in a long, dark shadow

And in the war you were fierce bravado
All the while behind you in the mud I cowered
We both made it home, but on you they shone the light
And it was only right

And I had so many girls, and pretty ones too
But the only one I wanted only wanted you
And in the summer pines, you put a ring upon her hand
And I was your best man

There's a hole in my heart, and it won't close up
I'd love you if I didn't hate you so much
Oh brother of mine I'm living in a long, dark shadow

As years went by I dreamed of ways to put you in your place
When your wife and child were seeing a new darkness in your face
And in the brown eyed gaze that had been steadfast and strong
There was something wrong

And the confusion I was feeling, no tongue could ever tell
When the doctor came into the room and said, "He won't get well. There's a cancer in his brain and a swarm upon his cells. And it won't be very long."

And all this time I have been drunk on this obsession of mine
Where were you in all that madness? Where was I?

I prayed to the lord above for my soul to save
When I looked down at your body and they placed you in your grave
My life has been a measure trying to live up to your fate
And now I'll have to wait

And tears from your woman's eyes were falling like rain
And I reached my hand out to her, but it all turned out in vain
She looked at me and said, "No girl can ever kill the pain."
And she turned her face away.

There's a hole in my heart, and it won't close up
I'd hate you if I didn't love you so much
Oh brother of mine I'm living in a long, dark shadow

credits

from Together, You And I, released January 19, 2010

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Barton Carroll Seattle, Washington

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